Resolutions

I haven't made New Year's Resolutions in years, and didn't really this year either. I don't know if I feel like tying it to the new year it is destined to fail, or what. I think I just prefer to make goals on my own time. I feel like if I'm really serious about them why wait for January 1st? I've had an unwritten goal about my fun computer time - which includes blogging. I guess it's in writing now! So you may not see me updating as often as of yore, but then again - maybe some of the other changes I'm making will help me manage my time better so I can. My goal is not to do what I consider fun (unnecessary) things on the computer during the day, when Lily's napping or awake entertaining herself. I want to spend those hours on more important things I need to take care of, and not have my back to Lily sitting at the computer, even for a few minutes (it always goes longer than I intend). I'd rather she see me working around the house and doing more hands on things than that, and giving her more attention too. If I have any time to wind down at night I can blog then - if Mike and I aren't spending all the time together. I have a lot of important things I keep putting off and so if I focus my daylight time on those I'll be able to put them behind me - which will relieve a lot of stress!

I've been reading a parenting book I'd had on hold at the library - still haven't gotten to the one I bought, but already I've identified some good changes to make in how I react and act with Lily. I have seen some good results and had an excellent last couple of days with her (aside from the bedtime tantrum last night -- it did go well tonight!) She's been a happier sweeter kid. Mostly it involves being more regular and firm with our routine, tying consequences that fit the bad behavior rather than just giving time outs, and my favorite tip - not reacting too emotionally when she misbehaves. I was seriously at a loss at what to do about her hitting us. It started small, but over the last couple of weeks was really getting worse. One day instead of my usual reaction - I just let her hit me and see that it didn't really hurt me and talked to her about her emotions and what I could do to help her. I thought maybe if I just let her while being sweet to her she'd feel worse about it and stop. Well, I was partly on the right track. It's not good to let her continue to hit, but letting her know hitting doesn't change what she is mad about without giving her the satisfaction of making me upset has made a difference. Along with giving her the more emotional reaction over positive things. I guess kids just like to see their parents fired up, we're just going to try to only do so for good behavior. Working on that poker face. I'm also looking forward to putting more of her issues back in her hands to help her come up with solutions on her own. She is growing in understanding so I shouldn't try to fix everything for her. She is too much of her own person for that! It's hard to switch that mindset from taking care of a baby to a kid! I know we will still have struggles, but I feel like I have some better tools for managing rough spots ahead. So I highly recommend reading parenting books even if you think your instincts are good enough. There's always room for improvement. I got a new perspective and feel more confident and positive about how I handle things.