Unfortunately...

...what I'm going to remember this Memorial Day weekend is terrible allergies. Finally we get some sunshine that's going to last more than a day or a couple hours and some good warmer temperatures, and all I want is for it to rain! Rain hard, and wash away all this pollen the trees are putting out. Seriously, big yellow clouds of pollen dust are blowing around this place settling on everything and making my allergies go into hyperdrive. My throat is on fire and congestion is coming and going clogging up my ear. I've been sleeping on the couch so I can be upright enough to breathe, but I'm not sleeping for long because I'm taking sudafed to help me breathe and can't sleep until it wears off and then after a few hours I wake up needing to clear my head so I can breathe again. So not fun. Being sick when it's so nice out is the worst. Especially when the nice weather is few and far between and it's a 3-day weekend. Boo!

I'm so thankful for Mike for being the best Dad ever to our girls and pumping up 2 big blow up pools and all their floaty things, and getting ice-cream and dinner for us so at least their weekend has been fun, and I didn't have to cook. Always something to be thankful for. Hope these allergies don't become a regular thing or we may have to move from this place.

It seems like lately the only time I blog is when I'm not feeling so great so I don't feel like doing much else. I guess I am a holiday or sick day blogger. Blogging has been near the bottom of my to do list, but I definitely want to record our family memories. We enjoy going back and seeing the pictures and videos, and it helps us to remember things that have happened when I've written something down. Been meaning to blog about my baby girl turning 5 and about our tulips finally blooming, and now they are fading and I still haven't yet. Since flowers are an easy topic I'll start with that. Look I even took some pictures of stages of growth - I was so excited to see these sprouting up! I'd been waiting all winter for them :)

Our first bloomers

 Cute girl riding her bike

 replacing some dead plants that didn't survive the hard winter

 cute girls painting her toenails

 the new plants on the other side of the driveway

 cute girl playing in the hose rain on a warmer spring day

 little artist at work

 Lily and the girl next door trying out the tool we borrowed from a neighbor to get dead grass and moss out of the yard. It was back breaking work, but our yard needed it. It's crazy how much stuff we were able to pull out - our grass looked like it could breathe again.

 When I was going through my photos and came to this one I thought: Whoa, it's a little me!

 Mini teenager here.

We found a barrel for flowers and Mike rigged up a little sprinkler inside to water them. Nice to have something a little higher in that spot by the stairs, we couldn't plant a tree because of pipes. Wish they made bigger barrels! I love all the beautiful flowers.

 Sierra posing with the flowers, for a second...

It was hard to get a nice picture of the tulips & spring blossoms because they weren't very thick across and so didn't stand out so well against the fence going straight across. They look so beautiful in person, but you can hardly even see them in this picture with Sierra.

 Tried to get some on my phone with the girls per my mom's request and this is what I got ;)

 Figured out we had to go from the side to get the best effect.

 Mike's camera takes such vibrant pictures. I love these he took.

 The girls playing by our one little apple tree. Lily made a swing for Sierra's little doll.

 I love these two best of all the flowers in our garden ;)

These smiles cheer me right up even when I'm feeling pretty miserable :)

;P

Misfortunes don't come one at a time. I think they travel in bunches. Sometimes you get a perfect lovely day that is like a blessing from heaven, and sometimes you get dumped on! Really most of life is a mixed bag - and I am lucky to have had such a wonderful one. I got to grow up in a good time, in a good country, raised by a great family who protected and loved me and great friends and teachers along the way. Sometimes the future looks scary, but it could be so much worse. I know I am so blessed, but regardless I am feeling a bit stressed right now. Sierra got strep and her birthday is this week. We got her started on antibiotics so the doctor says she should be better by her party, but Lily's wasn't when she had it a month ago (it dragged on)...so that (worrying about party plans), and keeping a watch on her fever, cleaning and hoping none of the rest of us get it is making me a bit stressed! Add a plumbing problem beneath our shower leaking into the ceiling in our garage, 3 kids being sent home for throwing up in Lily's class yesterday, and my regular everyday stress levels and I just don't feel like I can focus to get anything done at the moment. I feel like I'm just waiting for too many ifs to be resolved before I can proceed with something, but whether or not things are major priorities there are too many things to do around here to just sit still. So I better make a new list for today and get to work! Snuggling my sick baby (almost 4 year old) girl might make me feel a bit better to begin with...Though she might not want me to interrupt her play. I wish I was as energetic when I feel sick as my children are! This is how she looks when her fever gets high, but on fever meds she's bouncing around the house singing and playing.

Check out this crazy kid! We are very proud of how Lily's handling her broken ankle. Not letting it keep her down. Don't think she'll need her crutches too much longer :)

Off to accomplish something...make it a great day!

Our Place

We found our place! It's in between Hard and Rock.

I know, I know... cheesy.   I couldn't resist. My little attempt at adding humor to a tough situation :)

We are still looking for a place to call home. We put an offer on a place, but it was just not a good idea. It was a stretch for our budget and had a lot of costly issues including needing a new roof, and garage door, and all the appliances. We kept going back and looking closer and each time discovered more issues that were going to cost more money. But it had such potential, was a good location compared to anything else we had found in this area so far, and a much better size, so we just hoped we could make it work and do a lot of repairs ourselves and fix things up in time. We were getting more nervous about going into this house, and then we found marijuana growing in the backyard. :-P It is legal to smoke in Washington, but not legal to grow your own, and marijuana has traditionally been a gateway drug. We learned that meth use is pretty prevalent in this city, and that even someone smoking meth 2 or 3 times could leave a dangerous level of residue in a home. (And it's highly addictive - chances are if someone does it once they will do it again.) The home was bank owned and the husband of the last owner died before it went into foreclosure. We read an article stating that bank owned foreclosures in this price range were highly likely to be meth houses, and especially if they had a lot of trash in the yard and this and that and the other thing that perfectly described this house. Google street view from a couple of years ago confirmed crazy amounts of trash. And there was that little laid out patch of marijuana with supports for it to grow on testifying to previous drug abuse on the property!

The five leafed clover we found growing in the backyard.

 --I would be very surprised if the house did not test positive for meth, but at that point I was just kicking myself that we'd missed that patch of marijuana and half the other issues in that first walk through and ever even put in an offer on that property! Well, we were very lucky we had a change of heart when we did and were able to cancel the inspections we'd scheduled and back out of the offer with our earnest money. We both feel good about our decision to back out and move on. But now my hope that a home was so close in our reach is gone and the weary search continues! I hope that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. Sometimes I just feel he is leaving all this up to us to figure out, and I would much rather just be handed a step by step instruction! Yeah, I'm glad he lets us make our own decisions. I am just so tired! I don't even feel excited about getting into a house right this minute because I am so tired and it just sounds like a lot of work. But I know part of that is just the result of me staying up too late 2 nights in a row. I always feel better in the morning. I'm trying to carry on and count my blessings. I know there are people out there going through much worse than I. This experience is a perfect illustration of how one person's choices can effect so many more people than they imagine. I am so grateful for the gospel that has kept me free from so many worse troubles & addictions, and for my family and their great examples and loving support. So I am trying really hard not to feel completely overwhelmed and discouraged. I am really ready to be done searching for a place to live and just live in it! --- figure out the other things that we need to in our lives, and give more attention to the amazing little girls entrusted to our care who we've been much too snappy to lately.

Prayers are welcome!

Lemons

Not sure how to make lemonade out of this situation. I am feeling so - UGH - I don't know if I can even write about it...but here I am typing into my blog. Guess I just need to get it out. Let's just say this was not a good weekend. I could really use some good news or to win the lottery..if only I gambled. The emergency room is not cheap, and even if they hardly do anything to help you apparently they can charge you thousands of dollars for it. I just want to share with you all this lesson I have learned: In this day and age; even as relatively healthy, relatively young people -- it pays to have insurance! As overpriced as insurance is and as much of a gamble as it seems if you are a healthy individual with only so much money to spend - not having it is more of a gamble. I am embarrassed to admit to being such an idiot as I feel myself to be right now, but maybe someone reading this will pass it on and someone will learn from my mistakes! That is just the way our system is, so please don't be naive. I am grateful for modern medicine and for pain relief, and am grateful that Mike is OK. It could have been worse (...but then this still isn't over and the final tally still isn't in.) That's my best job at sweetening it up. Sorry it still tastes sour! Feeling discouraged.

Oh So Very 2!

Lily is driving me crazy lately. Actually not just me. She is so terribly moody that I'm really hoping it's a phase that goes with being 2 and that it will pass as soon as possible. It's hard living with someone so unpredictable. The slightest thing will set her off and then she's flipping food around, or hitting or kicking us. I'm trying to teach her more appropriate ways of expressing herself, but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in. It's so weird to me that she knows so many words and can communicate so well if she chooses to, but lately she sometimes reverts to pointing and grunting at things and is crying a lot! She has been sick, but I can't really think of any other changes in our lifestyle to coincide with her altered attitude. Could it be the new bed? Maybe she's getting some new teeth and the pain is making her grouchy? Sometimes I wonder if it's because she doesn't eat enough, but she's so temperamental that trying to get her to eat more is not easy. I give her something I know she really likes and she acts all happy about eating it, but then some minuscule thing is not to her liking and it's all over the floor and she won't have it. I try time outs, taking away things that are treats, small lectures, sending her to bed, everything I can think of, but it doesn't seem to faze her resolve to get what she wants - her way - or flip out. I know part of it is just learning to be her own person and testing what is appropriate and what is not, but sheesh! This is the pits. I have hope because there are many times where she is an absolute angel, lately they are fewer and farther between, but they give me hope! Sometimes it seems like she's really getting it and I'm on the right track, and then it's like I'm right back at the beginning. If anyone out there has advice or experience to share I could use a bit more hope, and any help I can get! I'm feeling super appreciative of my own mom and dad and all they went through to raise us kids. Parents deserve way more love and respect than they get!

A little video I captured yesterday I thought went along with this post. Lily was writing a note that said "I love Daddy, and Grandma..." but her note to me turned out a little different... Mike is laughing in the background.

The note she wrote:

 My two and a half year old:

A good moment. I love my girl all of the time, but I have to admit there are moments I don't like her! I feel bad to admit that, but it's true. I really hope it gets better soon, and I really hope my mom no longer feels that way about me! I'm not trying to complain. I do want to remember how it really was so when Lily has a two year old of her own, I can sympathize.

Just got a parenting book I ordered in the mail - got some reading to do!

Knocked off my feet

So it often seems that just when I start getting going on something, or several somethings...just when I'm busy, motivated, and feel like I'm making some progress - something happens to knock me off my feet. This time quite literally. I twisted my ankle and boy does it hurt! I was just walking over to the couch and turning to sit down and it felt like something cracked inside of it. Lame :( So now I'm icing and resting and not getting nearly as much done. At least if this had to happen I should have gotten an interesting story out of it - something exciting, heroic, and maybe a little dangerous...I could have been climbing Mt. Everest, or at least saving a snail from an oncoming tricycle, but No... I got hurt trying to sit down on my own couch. Now that's silly.

Anyway, I had to share this video and photos of Lily from this morning. Lately if she gets hurt she's been saying "It hurts so much!" with the cutest emphasis and I got it on video today. Don't worry - no Lily's were hurt in the making of this video. Don't be fooled by her pathetic expression!

Some pouty faces:

 
I thought this face a funny contrast to the PJ shirt she had on.

Looks like she's struggling a bit to keep a straight face. Don't play poker with this girl!

Out of Sorts

So my camera broke the other day. It just stopped working. I tried charging it 3 separate times in different outlets, but it just kept turning off the second I turned it on. It's funny how something like that could put me so out of sorts for the day yesterday. Especially since we have two cameras and it was not the nicest of the two - it was just this was my camera - my little pocket one that Mike got me for Christmas and that I take almost everywhere because I love taking pictures! and when I'm without a camera I seem to miss the best photo opportunities! Not that my camera was the only thing on my mind. It just didn't help... It was one of those days yesterday... But, I called Kodak and it's still under warranty, and I found the receipt!  So I shipped it out last night in the hopes that Kodak will repair or replace it and not claim that I'd dropped it or spilled liquid on it - I can be such a skeptic, especially to big businesses who I think are probably more concerned with their bottom line than being fair to one little customer. But I'm trying to have a little more trust, and anyway it's worth a shot because the cost of shipping is like $10 bucks versus the cost of a new camera.

A little story from my day yesterday: My memory card ended up inside my printer. I took it out during my phone call to Kodak and had - distractedly, trying to get it out of Lily's reach - set it in the printer paper tray. Later, after an hour sorting through old receipts - I found my proof of purchase, my luck was changing!!! I scanned it and went to print it and the paper stuck midway through. 'Stupid printer,' I thought '- this camera warranty thing is cursed!' I pulled out the jam, but the printer light just kept blinking. I opened and closed it, cleared the documents in the queue, unplugged the connection, and it still wasn't working. I looked inside and saw this little tag hanging down that said 'Kodak'. I thought: 'What!? Is this a conspiracy!? This is an HP Printer what is that Kodak tag doing in there!?' Then it dawned on me. Yes, folks - that's how my mind works sometimes. I am embarrassed to admit it, but it was also too funny not to share.

Another story: I decided I would use our other camera and take a couple of quick photos of Lily after her nap - since I happened to dress her in a little outfit I'd made that I hadn't gotten any great pictures of. (The only picture I had was of her crying at her cousins birthday party in it when she was feeling pretty rotten having missed her nap and being sick.) Anyway, I haven't made Lily much in the way of clothes so I figured I should get a picture of it. I fixed her hair all cute to match and just as we headed downstairs I got a phone call. My mom wanted me to look something up for her online that she couldn't because she didn't have the internet out visiting my Grandma. I get off the phone with a dilemma - do I look that up and call her right back, or take the pictures first? It won't take long to look it up and I don't want to keep her waiting. Just as Lily and I head out back with me still on the phone with my mom - Mike gets home from work. I am always thrilled to see him, of course, and so is Lily, but as she runs excitedly up to him she notices dangling from his arm in a plastic bag - ice-cream! Well, I am normally as thrilled to see ice-cream as Lily was, but she hadn't had lunch yet and I was on a mission to secure a picture. Mission terminated. Lily jumped excitedly up into her booster chair as she never will do for a meal, but the second she comprehends that she cannot have ice-cream until after lunch.. "Lunch - YUCK!" she jumps back down, and since I am in her path and she's mad...kicks me in the shins! Time out. No happy pictures happening here. Well, not in that moment. I couldn't help but think: 'Was this outfit cursed too?' Of course not. Things calmed down a little bit later (thanks largely to my wonderful husband) and I snapped a few happy pictures of my ladybug. Made this to cover a stain on the front of the shirt with some old polka-dot fabric my mom had lying around. It was just in time for Isaac and Audrey's big bug Birthday bash :)

Birthday bugged

Ice-cream happy, but before my camera has the time to focus...

YUCK!

 YUCK is right.

 Dad is the best!

Happy Again

Those last three were from us goofing around later that night. I love my girl - don't think she's always acting out. She's a really good kid. :)

Anyway, my camera is out for repairs. I'll let you know how it turns out, because it was really a great little camera for the price and sometimes took just as good or better photos as our expensive Fuji one. I hope they will fix it!!!

Mixed Emotions

I got the news that something I chose to do was successful, so why do I feel sad? My radioactive iodine treatment worked. Um...Yay? Is it odd that I feel more like crying than celebrating?

I guess I was just holding out hope that it would work just enough to restore normal balance to my thyroid - for a few years anyway. I guess it's just because, now I am face to face with the reality that there is definitely no turning back. I know this sounds unreasonable (but emotions are sometimes). It's not like my body wasn't already on a path to destroy my thyroid eventually. I know it's safer to be on a thyroid hormone than an anti-thyroid drug for lots of reasons and in my situation it was going to be an either/or for the rest of my life already...but this news still just feels so suddenly irreversible. I have always hated taking medicine. One little pill a day, routine blood tests here and there really shouldn't be a big deal - I just hate being reliant on doctors and medication continually for normal health. Welcome to the rest of my life. I know I am lucky to have access to modern medicine and that tons of people suffer way more serious conditions. I'm just still learning to deal with this. The good news is I don't have to go through the treatment again! Now we'll just have to see if the synthetic stuff works as good as the real thing...

Sorry, I am such a skeptic sometimes. ,';-P

Life gives you lemons

So I wasn't really going to talk about this on my blog... or much to anyone, because really I am so lucky and I am not looking for a pity party. Displays of sympathy always make me cry. Not that I don't want comfort and people to be loving to me because of course I want that, I also didn't want to draw attention to the lame stuff that is happening to me and have that be the only thing people want to talk to me about. I'm not very good at explaining why I was hesitant to share this, so hopefully any of you who reads this can just try to sympathize and understand. Just don't give me the sympathy face if I am talking to you about anything emotional or I will cry! Cracking a joke would be much better (...but don't be surprised if I still cry).

Anyway, it's too hard not to share this kind of stuff when you live in a community of people who care about you and you accept so much help from them. Since this is kind of like my journal it doesn't make sense to leave such a major thing that's happened to me out of it. Especially when I want to express my gratitude to all the people who have helped me and sent kind thoughts my way. I think it is good to share our trials so we can comfort and help others who experience similar things.

So in case you were wondering...

I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism or Graves disease. My body for some reason decided to produce anti-bodies to my thyroid and attack it. A lovely new friend of mine who has graves says if you're going to have an autoimmune disease this is the one to have because it is so treatable. I know everybody goes through some kind of health problem in their life, still I have had a hard time accepting that this was happening to me and wasn't just going to go away.

Since my mom had thyroid cancer (actually when she was pregnant with me) I've always asked my doctor to check my thyroid. So I found out something was up pretty early on before I really had much sign of it. I probably had a genetic predisposition to thyroid issues. My doctor now wonders if my mom had graves disease as well. After lots of testing it looks like I do not have cancer, but my thyroid is producing too high which isn't so good for you. It can put a lot of stress on your heart and other important organs and cause a lot of different complications. It's like you're body is running in overdrive. It's actually a pretty common thing for women to have thyroid issues after having children - because of the stress it puts on your body. And some of the symptoms of it are pretty hard to spot because they can be attributed to pregnancy and recuperating from childbirth and being tired and overwhelmed taking care of a new baby.

So there were a few options to get my thyroid back down to where it should be, and after looking into it and praying about it seriously I decided to do radioactive iodine treatment. It seemed like the best thing to for me since I want to have more kids and I've read studies about the thyroid suppressing drugs adversely affecting the fetus, and too low or too high of a thyroid can be bad during pregnancy as well. The thyroid supplement I will eventually have to take has no adverse effects, and there haven't been any signs of the radioactive treatment causing birth defects as long as you wait a sufficient time afterward to get pregnant.

Right now I just have to keep my distance from Lily for another week or so. That is the hardest thing about this. She is at this phase where she just wants to follow me around. And of course I love to cuddle her too! The other hardest thing is doubt - did I make the right decision? I just did something to kill off my thyroid!  So I've been a little sad, and worried about what this means for my health in the future. I just have to remind myself that my body was on the way to killing off my thyroid on it's own. I am so grateful to have priesthood blessings available to me to help me through this. At least this was discovered and I can take care of it before having the more severe symptoms. My mom hasn't even had a thyroid since before I was born has had pretty good health.

So thank you thank you thank you to Gloria for letting me stay in your spare room last week. I had so much fun chatting with you from across the room! And thank you to everyone who is helping me to keep Lily fed and occupied this week while Mike is working so I can maintain some distance from her a little longer until the radiation wears off. I am especially grateful for my wonderful supportive family who help me and love me unconditionally. I have the most amazing husband and the most amazing mom. Trials just come to show you how lucky you are.