Life is hard, but I still have air in my lungs, head just above water. I won't publicly whine about the many things that have been making life feel harder lately - just want you to know when I post cute pictures of my girls that though they are adorable and I mostly try to capture our best memories - our life is not perfect, and if you don't hear from me for a while it is probably because I am just a tad bit overwhelmed with daily living to blog too much about it. But I'm not giving up - so here's a random post for today.
Today I was so grateful to have Mike around to help me wrangle Super Squirmy during her diaper change death rolls because my arm and back have been killing me for the past week or so and I really don't know how I'm going to rest it so it can get better and take care of my baby at the same time. Pinched nerve/carpal tunnel type pain I get periodically that makes it hurt to even pick up a plate. Hope my chiropractor can work his miracles when I go to see him next week. Or any type of miracle that could be worked even sooner would be most welcome!
Today we watched the last sessions of general conference and Lily (4 going on 5) made beautiful coloring pages for all of us almost totally within the lines, sang her own made up hymns, listened to and commented on some of the talks, and told me she loves conference! (Even after 4 two hour long sessions over 2 days. That seemed like forever when I was little.) Yay! Sharing my love of it with my kid! I think the homemade cinnamon roll tradition I've started has helped.
Today I was uplifted by the spirit as I listened to the prophet and apostles speak the words of God. President Monson was cracking me up with all his exaggerated facial expressions, and I especially loved Elder Holland's talk this afternoon about belief and faith. It felt liberating. Like a load off my self-inflicted feelings of inadequacy. He talked about being true to the faith we do have not letting doubts lead us. And there were a few gems - I quote: "Remember in this world everyone is to walk by faith so be kind regarding human frailty. Your own, as well as those who serve with you in a church led by volunteer mortal men and women. Except in the case of his only perfect begotten son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but he deals with it. So should we." What a wonderful conference. You can watch it all HERE.
Today we walked over to Lily's future elementary school to see how long it will take us to walk there when she begins - in August! Yikes! Kindergarten! Not too bad of a walk - 16 minutes just taking our time. Lily was disappointed that the playground was locked up so we couldn't play there, we played Princess ball in the backyard and she put a Roly Poly on the bridge of her nose.
Today Lily took her first mud bath in the backyard and I didn't get a picture of it! Mike was on the phone with his mom and I was nursing the baby inside - Mike had her hosed off and in a bath before I even thought of it.
Today Sierra watched part of conference too, stuck everything she could in her mouth, and played peekaboo with a bib, a blanket, and her dad's baseball cap. Pulling them up and down herself and giggling in the cutest way whenever you caught her eye.
Today Sierra stood up on her own without holding on to anything about a million times, promptly falling back down half of them. And crawled around super fast in the grass making gremlin noises.
Tonight Sierra showed us some crazy sitting down dance moves when Lily turned on her Choo Choo song tonight and got so excited she stood up even more and tried walking around while Lily ran circles around her. When it was bedtime and we switched to a lullaby - she wasn't too happy because she still wanted to be bopping to the beat, and there wasn't one.
Tonight it took a while to get the girls to sleep, but once they were I just stood there and marveled at their beauty and thought of a favorite phrase of my parents: "They're so sweet - when they're asleep." It is so true. I have the most beautiful daughters. It's super hard and all consuming and sometimes I think I'm just too tired to be a mom, but I love them so much! What could be better?
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2 comments:
Hang in there, Lissy!!
I loved that quote from Elder Holland too. It was one of the few parts of conference I was able to focus on :-)
Rough week around here too-- I'm sure we all have our moments (or days...or weeks...or months) of wondering if we can pull this motherhood thing off, but we can do it! (Even if we don't do it perfectly.)
Thanks, Heidi! You are awesome!
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