Peace!

This is part of a message I shared some months ago with my visiting teaching sisters. In my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we are called to serve individual sisters to make sure everyone has someone to turn to when they need it. I already had this all typed up in a letter I sent to my sisters one month and I thought it was worth sharing on here too. --As much for myself as for anyone!

Here is the message from the church - the rest are my thoughts related to it:

Someone shared this list with me and it came to my mind when I was putting together this message. --I'm often a worrier - always planning for the worst case scenario and stressing when I should be enjoying the moment. When I read this list I thought it sounded wonderful! Wouldn't it be great to live life with that attitude of peace?

12 Symptoms of Inner Peace

1. An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

3. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

4. A loss of interest in judging other people.

5. A loss of interest in judging self.

6. A loss of interest in conflict.

7. A loss of the ability to worry.

8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

10. Frequent bouts of smiling.

11. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

12. An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Jesus Christ is The Prince of Peace! He is our ultimate example. He lived a perfect life - though that didn't bar Him from hardship and pain. He suffered more than anyone on earth, as much as all of us ever have! He chose to - for us! He always chose the right path, the path that leads to eternal happiness. He has peace and happiness because of the kind of person He is and it can never be taken away from Him. Sometimes it's hard for us to tell what the right choice is, and for us to have agency Heavenly Father can't command us about every little thing. It wouldn't make sense to. We aren't all meant to end up exactly the same. We weren't created to be robots, diversity is beautiful and makes life interesting! Heavenly Father doesn't want us to be exactly the same, but he does want us to end up in the same place, with Him, clean, and compatible with one another so that we'll be happy living there together. We can become that way not by following some gigantic complex textbook with all decisions for all circumstances laid out for us, --but by following the commandments, and the example set for us, serving others as the Savior did, trying to be humble and teachable and pattern our lives after His. We can learn more about Him through reading our scriptures, prayer, and trying to follow His ways, serving others more than ourselves. That is the way we will obtain true happiness and inner peace!

Talking Up a Storm

Well, we officially have 2 chatterboxes in the family! Sierra has been saying more new things all the time, and with all the talking my girls do I am often reminded of the phrase my cousin Casey repeated (in her cute southern accent) running around the airport seats at the end of a visit back when she was probably close to Lily's age and the medical alert bracelet commercial and Urkel made famous the line: "I've fallen and I can't get up!" --"I'm talkin' and I can't shut up!"..."I'm talkin' and I can't shut up!" ...Sometimes I feel like I could never get too much quiet...but I do love my cute girls and I'm glad they are good communicators, and I have hope there will come a day when they will learn to ask only for what they cannot do themselves and not repeat things over and over, or whine! Anyway...just wanted to remember some of the things Sierra says a lot these days.

Sierra says:
Right there
Different one (she asked Mike for a different one when he was about to recycle a slightly dirty bib, and always wants a cup without a lid or a different sippy cup than the ones I usually give her)
Vitamins (only it sounds like almons) then she specifies orange, pink, or red (she asks for them several times a day)
Crackers (quawqua)
Breakfast (Bweckfiss)
Yogurt, eat it!
Stwabewy
Share! (meaning: give it to her, of course)
Counting to 9 (Lily taught her that)
3...Blastoff! 3...Blastoff!
some of the ABC's
Bubble Bath
Tickle Monster
sings: 'Hoppy Bird day to Gwama!', "Row, row, row, boat," "Round and round" (wheels on the bus) and once something she made up with 'Jesus' in it that was so adorable!!
The other day at church she was saying to herself: Up high, side, side, down low, slow
She says 'Church' when she sees a dress
Come on and Comin'! (she always wants to come when one of us is going somewhere)
Yeah, Okay!
She is the most excited kid ever when it's time to brush her teeth. "Brushteef Ok-AY!!!"
No thankyou!! No thankyou!! (with vehemence) Mike was just saying after hearing her say this how some of our manners teachings have backfired with this little one because her polite words come out sounding so sassy! --Like how she also always says 'Excuse you' instead of 'excuse me.'
She calls her big toe "Mommy toe" and her little toe "baby toe" (Mike's idea) Yesterday Grandma asked her which one was her Daddy toe, and she pointed to her other big toe and answered "This one!"
The last couple of days Sierra's been stringing together full sentences like: "I want some of that!" only without taking any breaths between words :)
Sometimes after she sees Lily do it she'll will pretend whisper in your ear.
Sierra will repeat almost everything back to you if you ask her to - and it's not too long and intimidating. One day she was repeating back everything Lily said and making Lily quite annoyed! It ended like this: "Lily: Stop it!!! Sierra: Stop it!" And sounded so much like an exchange between older kids it had me cracking up! Now I often hear Lily telling Sierra: "Ok, Sierra - You can repeat anything I say now!" -I think Lily knows there isn't much she can do about whether Sierra will repeat her or not, but as long as Lily has bestowed permission then she won't have to get mad about it when it happens. :) Now Lily uses Sierra's repeat-after-me-abilities for laughs and enjoys teaching her new things  to say - they are the cutest sisters!

 (warming up after getting soaked on the way home from school on a rainy afternoon -

these photos make me think of me and my sister when we were little)

Sierra is such a darling when she says 'Mommy!' in the most affectionate tone and smooshes her face into me and gives me a great big hug! She can be so serious at times - her facial expressions are just priceless!

But she still smiles a lot too! The other night she was sitting in my lap waiting for(ever like usual for) Lily to come back from brushing her teeth and telling me all kinds of things about her day, repeating the words she knows to express her thoughts - like how she was 'scared, scared' of the fire 'truck' sirens that were 'loud' and how she wanted the little 'girl' she met at the park to 'share' her 'bottle' of 'wawa'. Then we talked about how we don't share drinks or things we put in our mouths with other people, but we do share toys. I could tell she totally got it, I don't think she got the whole sharing concept and am not expecting her to be a pro toy-sharer after this one brief chat, but I could see the understanding in her eyes and in what she said back to me when I talked about not sharing cups or things we put in our mouths. It's just amazing to me how much she is growing! I can't believe she is going to be 2 in a few short months! (My baby!) The time really goes too fast!

Some pictures from the last month or so...

This one's a slideshow of my cute character!

 Our Valentine's day dates for lunch at the Yellow Deli - one of our favorite places!

Whispering in her Daddy's ear :)

Looking so little in the big people chair!

My adorable dates!

and one of me!

Sierra is a champion high heel walker - better than her mom will ever be!

Pretty good in Cabbage Patch doll shoes too!

...and Littlest Pet shop sunglasses!

Cute sisters!

My big five year old!

 Playin' with mom at the park while Lily is off with her school friends

Doing wheels on the bus

("I pity the fool!")

Looking oh so prim and proper :)

Update: Last night Sierra had her arms folded so cute ready for family prayer that Mike asked her if she wanted to say it. She said yes, and Lily - disappointed because she wanted to say it - offered to help her. Sierra leaned back with arms folded against a pillow and Lily's shoulder and I prompted simple phrases, but it wasn't really until Lily whispered them back to her that she started saying/whispering them back. After the prayer she said excitedly "Father, Father 'gin!" (Heavenly Father again) like she wanted to pray again. Tomorrow, we said. It was so sweet! Moments like those make it worth all the trouble :)

Good Ideas Gone Bad

Over the course of my life I have had many of them, but I'm not about to recount them all. Can't change the past and would much rather look to the future. Just thought I would share two good ideas gone bad that have come up over the last couple of weeks.

#1. Shampoo - Pretty sure I tried this before and forgot about it until after I tried it again... Just to remind myself and warn others - it is not a good money-saving idea to mix water with your shampoo. I love me my olive oil salon shampoo and every year or so I go stock up because the bottle is huge and you can get a second bottle for half off. This time I thought - I'll save even more $$$ this time and mix water half and half with the shampoo once I empty one bottle - the first ingredient on the label is water anyway and with that spout cap it always squirts out just a little too much! Great money saving idea, right!? Wrong. Should have tried mixing it before filling it up half and half - it's running right through my fingers before I can get much up to my head. The good thing is - I waited to mix the second half. And I figured out I can lift it up and squirt it directly onto my head. Still - won't make that mistake again.

Bad/Good Idea #2. The brilliant space saving bed scheme. We live with my parents while we are trying  to get our future plans in order and save for a house. 2 rooms, 4 people. Bedrooms, office, sitting room and pantry all contained therein. Well, when we were expecting Sierra we hatched a plan to make room for her and maintain the little bit of extra space we had by giving up our King Size bed for a time and sleeping on a twin trundle. It could double as a couch and we'd each still have the same amount of space as we did on the King. We could have more floor space during the day and when we moved we could just put them together in a king size frame with a big cushy mattress cover over top and have an easier to move King again! Well, what's good in theory does not always work well in practice. 3 much too expensive and not very comfortable twin mattresses later (nicknamed the beds of pain) we are back together on a queen…dreaming of our more comfortable old King. The factory mattresses feel nothing like the floor models! Do not by a 'Comfort-Pedic' regardless of whether it meets the standards of consumer reports!

Getting Ready for Kindergarten

A friend asked a while back what kind of learning things I did with my kids to prepare for Kindergarten. I'm no expert, but I'm glad to share what we've done. I think preparing your kid for school starts very early, in fact once they are in school you still need to be very actively involved to make sure they are getting a quality education. This is something most parents probably don't think about when they think about having kids. I sure didn't! Your school experience is not over like you hoped!!! 

It totally amazes me how much kids learn just from observation. Before you know it they are pointing things out and telling you what they are. But there are many simple ways we can help them along. Learning is fun when you are little! Sierra is absorbing so much of what is going on in the world around her and just thirsting for more! Flash cards have no stigma to a 2 year old - they can be fun! We don't do a lot of flashcards, but we have some fun ones we've picked up for cheap that we get out now and then (Rhyming, Opposites, Phonics with fun pictures of animals, etc.). Often at Sierra's age it's just all about putting them in and out of the box, but I talk about them with her. It's good to have books and toys that get you teaching things laying around. Don't underestimate what your children can learn even when very young. We sing, we read, we talk about everything, we draw and describe and give our kids lots of love!

I may be one of few left who believe this, but I don't think a kid has to attend preschool to get ready for kindergarten! Sure it's good for kids to get interaction with other kids their age, but I think getting love and nurturing at home gives them quite a boost too. Expensive preschools were not an option for us, I wanted to do a Joy school or a home preschool, but I had no car, and I had a hard time keeping my ideas simple enough to do any kind of structural thing consistently. I'd try to stay up late and prepare stuff, but I needed my sleep more! I did make a list of Kindergarten level books that fit into different subjects I wanted to teach by month and checked them (and a lot more!) out from the library throughout the year. But thanks to my sister-in-law and brother in-law I got a recommendation and a weekly ride and Lily and I attended a Mommy and Me Preschool with Lily's younger cousins one day a week (with summers off) for almost 2 years (until Sierra was born). It was a really good experience and Lily grew a lot from it. I think a Joy school would have been great, but if you can't get other mom's together it's good to have some kind of play date experience. I am SO grateful we had cousins nearby, church friends and wonderful neighbors!

A friend from church told me about a book called Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. So when Sierra was first born and we weren't going to preschool - Lily and I began that. I posted about it here. I am really glad that we made the effort to teach Lily to read before she started Kindergarten! It may not be for everyone, but Lily was ready, and I feel like there are such higher expectations and so many new things to get used to that having that head start really helped to make the transition easier. I'm grateful that Mike really encouraged it and supported me - we both felt like since reading is the foundation for lifelong learning what could be more important? Now Lily is reading really well and is in the top 2 readers of her class, I think it's given her a boost of confidence my shy girl could certainly use in a class of over 30 kids! I missed the deadline for getting Lily into a free preschool offered by the school when I first had Sierra, but I'm kind of glad I did and we focused on reading instead! I found out from the mom of one of Lily's classmates who attended that preschool that, though you'd think it would... the at-school-preschool didn't teach the letter sounds or prepare her for Kindergarten or the entrance assessment at all, and her little girl is struggling a bit now and putting pressure on herself to get to a higher reading level because she's the only girl in the reading group she is in. That mom revealed some other communication breakdowns from the school that made it hit even more home to me how important it is to be involved and communicate with your child's teacher about their progress and expectations. It doesn't all come home in a handout, and I'm lucky I can chat with other moms and the teacher when I pick Lily up from school, and that Lily has told me things that prompted me to ask more questions at times -or we wouldn't have been working on all the things we should - like math!

My mom always says it's important to provide kids with an "active environment". I don't think that means you have to have too many things going on at once. I think letting them get play on their own and get bored once in a while fosters creativity. But it certainly helps to provide toys, music and ideas and help them change things up when needed. We've felt it is important to limit the TV, and other screen time. I have no worries about our kids learning to use the computer and don't always want them on mine so I also limit that! But when we do let them watch and play on our computer or Ipod we try to pick things that are educational or higher quality entertainment. Starfall is a great resource for learning and phonics online. And we've loved the TV program Signing Time for teaching little ones to communicate early on (especially Baby Signing Time)! Sometimes watching shows geared to them with them gives you a better idea of how to explain things to kids at their level. I totally recommend Go Potty Go for explaining potty training! Got that from the library. :) Use the free resources that are available! Read to your kids every night! I think the key is to just make a little effort for a short time of each day to focus on your kid and teach them something one on one. Do it when they're showing an interest and keep it laid back and fun - stop when they lose interest. My thought is: Some days you may think you didn't do anything, but if you make it a habit to listen to them and explain things that are going on around you - you are teaching your child. When you feel so busy don't sweat it - they need to see good examples of grown-ups working hard too because that's life!

List of learning things to do:
Sing ABC's
Draw shapes (Mike drew all different shapes and kind of tested Lily on them at different times ever since she was little. Just giving your kids blank paper to draw on instead of coloring books all the time gets them to be more creative with their drawings too! Sit down and draw together.)
Sing songs with motions and numbers
Get some Cd's of sing along songs that don't drive you crazy (library!)
Get books with pictures and words, collect favorite bedtime stories to read again and again
Play school
Read!
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
Starfall.com
Practice Writing (Chances are they will practice writing on their own - signs, letters, resternaut menus (and I mean resternaut!) be ready to help if they ask but don't over correct -encourage them so it's fun)
Watch Signing Time
Letting your child have some unstructured play (we do this a lot - gotta get our work done!)
Play with other kids, take them to church, and story time - give them experiences with kids their age and environments where they have to sit and listen
Explain things in the world as you experience them, explain big words as they come up (I ask if she knows what a big word means and I try to explain it to her rather than avoiding using it)
Use the library! (I love reserving what I want online and just picking it all up from the hold shelf when it comes in!)
Set an example (read your own books for fun - I need to do this more!)
Give praise, show enthusiasm and share your love of learning with your kids!
Other good resources I've used:
Math Activities website: education.com/activity/preschool/math/
Kindergarten Here I Come Calendar downloads a calendar of ideas to prepare for Kindergarten
Awesome homeschool blog I check out now and then - this lady makes me feel so inadequate- I am in awe of her! ourhomeschoolfun.blogspot.com

Here are some learning things I've made and used with my kids:
Book List by Topic/Month/Season (the books titles were recommended for Kindergarten from various Internet sources, but I used my topic ideas to find many more and reserved them online a couple weeks before I wanted them - I didn't do it nearly as structured as I'd planned, but I think it was good checking out many books about one topic at a time.)
100 number chart (front)
All About the Number X (back - laminate together & use dry erase marker)
Counting Spots
Lily's Week Calendar - because she was driving me crazy asking what day it was all the time :)
Potty Chart  -  Might as well throw that in. I made this a long time ago, but have shared it with a couple people. My original idea was to laminate it and color in the characters Lily chose to decorate it as she had success to add up to a prize. I made a boy version too and left the characters off for you to customize yourself :) with Lily's favorite characters, girl, boy
Stuff I've made to help with Kindergarten homework:
Writing lines
Writing Alphabet with arrows
Dotted line alphabet
Writing Numbers to 20
Writing Numbers to 25 repeated
What adds up to x? 0-6, 7-12

Technology Train

I was just thinking and actually kind of missing that old sound that you'd hear when you were dialing up to sign in online...."be-bobe-bo-be-bup-bup...crshhhh.trill..a series of static and beeping and then! Er er. You've got mail!"


I remember how long it took, and how little we actually did online of any worth back when the internet was so new we didn't really need it yet. Instant messaging while you were on the phone with your friends at the same time making plans and hopping in and out of lame chat rooms playing pranks and just being goofy together. Remember when teachers first starting asking you to include internet sources in your reports to be cutting edge? ...Remember...When you used the card file at the library? ...When you had to buy the new Thomas Brothers Guide to find your way around southern California? So much has changed in so short a time!

It makes me think someday we'll be telling our kids - "I remember when internet came out. Can you believe there wasn't always the internet!?" Similar to our parent's versions about when television came out and when their family got their first set! It's hard to look at what we have now and think about life before all this technology. I never would have dreamed that someday even the poor kids in the clinics would be passing the time waiting to see the doctor carrying around their own high tech thin screens the size of notebooks they can play games on and video chat with people around the world on all with the swipe of a finger! That was Back to the Future stuff - not in my lifetime! And here we are!

It's kinda crazy to think about the evolution of entertainment and communication. It used to be that people gathered around a fire, telling stories, playing their own music, and dancing - most of what they thought and talked about was what they themselves came up with or what was passed down from memories and ancient writings. Then print, the telephone, radio, and television -- made the vision of essentially a few creative people available to many. Now with the internet EVERYONE can easily share their ideas and talents on a worldwide scale. We know the news that's going on around the globe (that doesn't really effect us, but does - because some of the mistakes we make these days have further reaching consequences, and because wherever we hear something that strikes a chord with our humanity it leaves it's emotional impact). ...We can read not only the news, but the latest doings and opinions of all our friends and acquaintances from all over the world! It's cool that one individual can share their voice with so many, but I also feel that with all that everyone is sharing it's really too much to take in and weed through. It's overwhelming.

Sometimes I long for a simpler time. Sometimes things feel like they are changing so fast and not always for the better. There are many good things to experience when you're unplugged. But are we getting enough of that down time? How can you really meditate when you're constantly hooked into some feed? And you have to ask yourself: Is the feed you are hooked into really what you want to feed on? Is it uplifting and educational or is it just garbage you're putting into your head? I know I want to be more spiritually fed! I love the feel and fulfillment of making something of my own, and of being inspired by something outside of myself! How can you tap into true inspiration and create if you spend ALL your time viewing and commenting on the creations of others? (You easily could - it's addicting.) How can you focus your life to true purpose when you are letting so many things vie for your attention and time?

Don't get me wrong - I am not anti-technology. I LOVE my indoor plumbing, and I love the wealth of useful information at our fingertips! The ability to talk face to face with Lily's grandparents who are far away and share photos and news with mine! The job it's allowing Mike to do that doesn't involve risking his life and health the way his old job did! The opportunities it's providing our family...just to name a few!

I guess partly I just personally find it hard to find a balance, or feel like I am. Especially with facebook. I don't feel like I spend a lot of time online, yet I still feel it is too much! Maybe I just have a hard time detaching from things and keeping them all lined up in proper perspective. I also tend to over-think and self-criticize. I wonder what worth it actually is to me to be on there at all and if it balances out the negative. Yeah, I love when I find out about a great event or play-date opportunity, learn a useful fact from a friend, or try to lift or feel lifted by sharing jokes and kind words with my friends. But on the flip side: often time is wasted, typewritten feelings are misunderstood, sensational things worry and rile me up, and seemingly "perfect" images of people and their situations make me feel low.

How much do you share, how much do you look at, how much do you comment on, how much do you believe?  How much do you let all the random things you've read fill up in your head and distract you from what's really important?

It could come to a point where you have to ask yourself: Are you living your life online? Replacing real life relationships with superficial socializing? Letting real responsibilities slide and wondering where the time went?

I wonder: Do people actually think that the few posts I put up about myself represent who I really am? Does anyone really care about what I am sharing? Do I really need to be "liked"?

If you share all your news online don't you think it becomes kind of awkward to meet someone in person and wonder what to talk about with them because you don't know what they've already read? Don't you kind of feel strange to mention something you read about someone else online when you actually meet them in person - like they'll think you're a stalker or something?  -Do you sort of/kinda take offense when a friend misses one of your latest posts? Do you feel more comfortable contacting people in a text than talking to them face to face or even over the phone? Does it feel like a relief talking to someone totally new because there aren't those complications with catching up? I've seen and experienced these kind of things going on around me -I feel like social skills and interactions are rapidly changing with social media and all this technology. I know I'm not the only who's noticed that in many crowds of adults these days there are few who don't have their heads down in their phones instead of giving their attention to the people around them! How long can they go before they pull it out to check on it? ...I wonder if there are many kids these days who aren't spending all their driving time playing video games or watching movies (that somebody else invented and they've probably seen or played many times before) instead of talking with their family or staring out the car window thinking about things like we did as kids. That's useful time in my mind! Are kids getting enough time where they aren't being either schooled or entertained? Enough opportunity to bend their parents ear or look them in the eye? (With the ever-changing car seat laws do they have to be 16 now before they can sit in the front seat?) On top of all these things I can't help but question: Are all the wireless signals and the heavy metals in our personal devices going to kill or make us sick? We can hardly seem to escape them anymore and I often see them being used as baby chew toys...

Whoa, that got serious :) These are real issues, yet I can't help but ask myself: Should I really even bother to post this train of thought? Are my questions going to get people thinking or just going to make them roll their eyes at me for talking about these things because they love their fun technology so much they think I am ultra-paranoid or possibly judging them for raising my concerns? I have no desire to judge or to offend! I think like with all technology - the use of it can be a major blessing, and it can be abused. I feel like I have to be really careful to use it as a tool for good in my life and in my kids' lives and not let it take over. I wonder how many others can relate... I wonder what it's all going to look like 10 years from now...!?